i miss you...

i dreamt of ammah (my grandma from my dad's side) last night...

in the dream, we were lying in bed, hugging each other, i was lying my head on her shoulder. she started to talk about a cookbook that was about to be published by one of his sons (she specifically said son.. not kids). the cookbook includes stories of how she started to enjoy cooking and memories of her in the kitchen with her kids or grandchildren. then she started to tell me one of the stories... it was when she cooking with her son, they forgot to add sugar... as a result, the food turned out to be salty. we started to laugh. then i looked at her touched her face and her ears and told her that i love her and that i missed her. she smiled back at me...

ammah was known for her cooking, for her love to go to the market. i remember she had her own small tv in her room and each day she would watch (and wouldn't - couldn't miss) "Wok with Yan". i remember she would run from the kitchen and back to the room in between commercial breaks.

it has been four years since ammah passed away... in the dream i wanted to ask her how she is. why she left so soon... but seeing her smile, seeing how lively she looks... she looked younger and there were twinkle on her eyes. i know she's in a good place... i know she is having a great time with angkong.